Remembering Ryan

January 31, 2021

I lost my brother Ryan on Saturday after a difficult battle with mental illness. He was so much to me — my brother, my best friend, my cofounder. He was beautiful in all his complexity. He never did anything half-assed. Never did anything just because he was supposed to. He was a craftsman, a modern day renaissance man. He was an insanely talented developer, yet also had a brilliant eye for design. He was a true waterman, comfortable in any condition. He had such style and soul when he surfed. He was beautiful on the guitar. He had an incredible taste in music matched only by his terrible taste in movies (but in that we found so much joy together). He was stubborn. He argued. He was almost always right. He lived life unapologetically and encouraged others to do the same. He was a mentor and an influence to so many. Not because he loved to talk. Because he was a real friend who was there for you through it all. He was always up for adventure or a good time, and usually the one instigating it. We did it all together — we skydived, surfed, sailed, biked, skated, zip-lined, cliff jumped, luged, rafted, snowboarded. He pushed me and inspired me — so much of who I am today is because of his influence.

February 6, 2021

Woke up with a heavy heart this morning. I wasn’t going to head out until I read a comment someone had left on a post about Ryan:

It so sucks that wonderful doesn’t matter sometimes … You and Mike are the best parents I ever met (I’ve kept notes) … I never met a more astonishingly wonderful set of sibs than Erin, Ryan, and Jeff … I’ve never met anyone any more wonderful than Heather, and the two of them together sorta made me dizzy … The kids are each SO wonderful and in fascinatingly different ways … even the farm reeks of magic and energy and love … what got him obviously had nothing to do with anything that makes sense … just sucks … I believe he’s free and soaring and golden and peaceful … time to steep in the love and good times and feelings and come together to make everybody as good as they can be … and cry free and clear and hard whenever it comes for all the joy and love … then get up and out and make the boy proud.

With that push I left and hiked up the hill behind where my parents live. I was greeted by this glorious sunrise:

February 7, 2021

I once met the most incredible man,
Eyes filled with mischief and always a plan,
His light burned so bright,
Held on with all his might,
Ryan I’m forever your biggest fan.

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Jeff Mohr

Jeff Mohr

Cofounder & CEO @kumupowered. Often found running in the mountains or dabbling in complex systems and networks to spark lasting change.